No services at this time...

Several have asked about services for David. At this moment, none are planned. While this was a long time coming, it was also unexpectedly quick. He had been declining but anxious to complete another chemo 3 day treatment so that he could have another CT and determine progress. Who was coming out ahead, chemo or cancer? He was able to have the CT Thursday, which I’m glad for his sake, however, I’ve been given conflicting results. I’m not following up.

My heart and head are not in the mood to rehash or retell so here is the briefest of recaps. David said Saturday night, he wanted to go to ER Sunday morning. We did that, he was admitted and by Monday afternoon he was gone.

There is so much more to the story. And his story doesn’t end here. Thank you everyone for the outpouring of love, admiration and memories of David you are sharing. If there is to be any special service, I’ll be sure to let you know.

For now, if you wish, donate to PanCan, make it for David Anderson; Team: Fist Bumpers 2020. Oh yes, I expect to see a great crowd at the Purple stride walk next year. There’s probably more info I could give you on that but not now, this is my limit…

the post I never wanted to write

6:15 a.m. Dr lee calls for Dr Chan who we saw yesterday in the Emergency Room and talked with. She passed alone the important aspects of our no special care conversation. Told him I was going to a meeting and would be down this afternoon, he then called back, could they start comfort measures if they couldn’t get a hold of me. Yes. Went to coffee clutchers, cried on Gary B shoulder and then Jeni afterwards. As I drive home, Dr Zimmerman calls. He is with David and feels there is not much time. He was very sorry and didn’t realize David has declined so since he had last seen him. I called Joan to take me down to Zion. We went in the room. David held out his hands to us, we held them, I kissed him. hugged him.

Pam hospice came in and yakked about a bunch of stuff. I sort of already knew about hospice. We, including Joan, talked about Board and Care facility. Joan left to check out a couple. When Joan got back my sister and brother in law were there so Joan went on home. But how nice, she brought be a burrito and I hadn’t yet eaten anything. Barb (sis) and Bill sat with us. We talked to David. Vic, a wonderful RN came in occasionally. He helped with David’s comfort, removed the rebreathing mask and administrated morphine under his tongue. He also very softly told me some things that would happen with his breathing. I got the sense that time was very short. Oops, he also brought me a sandwich, so I did have something else to eat!

Barb and I cried and talked. Bill got me a coffee. It was sort of surreal. As Barb and I talked, Bill suddenly said, he’s not breathing. He then went and got the nurse. Vic came in to listen to his heart and it was still. His heart will never beat again. My heart will beat for us both. David will live on in me and all those whose lives he touched.

David was 71 years young (birthday 12/16); we were together 39 ½ years. We had adventures beyond belief. No regrets. Remember his smile and positive attitude and share that with others.

Its really all about me

Its all about me. Friends stopped by last night and brought me early birthday greetings. What a fun surprise. Potted plant; card; cake and cookies. The cake had the most unique candle ever. One big flame that then popped open to several small candles and played happy birthday. Hard to describe the candle effect, had to see it. It came from Arizona so you know it was special. The happy birthday song was sweet but got annoying when we couldn’t turn it off. Can you believe, one of the guys took it outside and smashed it! Oh my – well maybe they did ask first.

It all made me feel very special. A nice feeling to carry over to Sunday morning as I sit here in the waiting room for David to have his labs drawn. Brought him in with his transport chair. I am more efficient or is proficient, at lifting the chair in and out of the truck. Here’s another smart car issue, have to then wheel back up to the door to lock the car, my key was too far away. Next time maybe I’ll remember and have David use his smart phone to lock the car as we roll away. Oh technology.

Screw technology! Came out to drive home and the car wouldn’t start! Is it the key? Is it the ignition? Is it me? Getting no dash messages. Foot is on brake; car is in P with E brake on. Try a few times. Then remotely lock car (with phone). Then remotely start. It starts, I put my foot on the brake to “go” and engine shuts off. Will not restart.

Earlier had gotten a message to touch “start” with key. I do that and it starts. (after the problem of trying to get out of car, open driver door, horn sounds, other doors will not unlock, hard to reach purse in back seat for key).

Smart car – not so much…

Ok, so how is your day going?

transport chair walks

The Chair

I’m loving this warm weather in November. David came up with the idea to take advantage of it and try for a stroll at the bay. That seemed like a good idea so we (that’s the royal we because you all know it was just me) loaded up some items and took off. Middle of the day so no traffic to or from. I got out David’s transport chair and he pushed it for quite a way and then rode the rest of the way. The sidewalk is sloped and it was a bit more effort than I had thought to push. I had said we’d walk to the next bathroom but since I was in charge, turned around before we got that far.

That worked out so well that I suggested we try again today and thought I’d like to do the shopping mall. It’s outdoors and I could stop and get an item or two. So again, load up and go. I leave the transport chair in the back of the car between uses. It is so much lighter than the wheelchair but the wheelchair does push and “sit” better. From my mother I learned to pack snacks and drinks. I don’t remember us taking a lot of car trips, mostly to my grandparents in Cardiff. She always seemed to have just what we needed in snacks and minor supplies and I’ve carried on that tradition. However, it does seem we/me spend more time getting ready than at the actual outing; maybe that’s just what has to be.

These days I have to help David with his shoes and socks. It is not an easy task. I made the mistake of telling David this story. My mother saw me attempting to dress one of my dolls and I had her on her head so I could get the clothing on. My mother informed me that I would not be able to turn my babies on their heads when I had to dress them. So every time I help David with dressing, he wants to know if he should stand on his head! Isn’t he the funny one!

Eating is still a challenge, now in addition to not feeling like eating and 5 or more days that he absolutely can’t touch or eat anything cold, added on is mouth sores from the chemo. I think its more like a tenderness to his mouth and sore throat; topped off with dryness of mouth that I guess I’d say is uncomfortable. I know it makes him talk funny (but not any less!). If you’d like a better explanation – ask him. Picking up some possible remedies was included with our mall walking today.

Scheduled is chemo for November 18^th which means the pump disconnect will fall on the 20^th which happens to be my birthday. Last year David had made reservations for us to go to dinner at a nice place but he ended up in the hospital. This year, I’ll just be happy if the only hospital we see is for the pump disconnect. I can always buy myself a piece of carrot cake, Vons sells single slices of one that I like.

I’ll end with todays suggestion, along with enjoying moments, get a little exercise. Because David has had to spend so much time inactive, his legs have lost quite a bit of muscle. You don’t even realize it and then dang, you wish you had kept up some strength training. That’s why I’m not gonna complain about pushing David in the transport chair – my own form of exercise!

Thank you everyone for hanging in there with us. Love and hugs to all.