“Maybe David is the verbena.” That’s what someone said to me
after I shared that I shed a few tears when I saw the first verbena of the
season. Because I knew David would not be seeing verbena with me again. We had
both so delighted in spotting the first of the desert blooms. And appropriately
verbena is purple which is the color of pancreatic cancer awareness.
Well, I liked that thought; especially when I pulled into my
Yuma lot and there squeezing between the Mexican bricks was a tiny verbena with
one beautiful bloom. That stray plant now has 3 blooms. It’s not really a place
to be growing but I’ll be darned if I’m pulling it out.
I’ve been attending some grief support meetings. Helpful to
a point. One thing they emphasize is to tell people what you want. So here are
two things that I’d appreciate. Rather than ask me how I’m doing, how about,
Good to see you. I know that “how ya doin” is not a real question (unless you
have unlimited time and tissues). But it makes me feel obligated to say I’m
fine. A, good to see you greeting is less stressful! But if you forget, that’s
ok.
The other thing I need is someone who knows how to delete shows/folder
off Dish Hopper. I don’t want to figure it out, I just want the David folder
deleted. For some reason seeing his shows and especially one partially watched
is painful. Next time I’m in San Diego. Anybody?
I’ve got a new pastime. Puzzles will be put on hold
temporarily. I am treasurer for the park I’m in. This will be a whole new set
of folks and activities. Normally David and I got involved when we stayed in an
RV park for any length of time. We had planned to do that here. However, since
our time here was all based on treatments and activity limited by how David
felt; we never really participated. I think David would approve of my stepping
up to the job. It opens up a whole different aspect of being here. For one
thing, I’ll need to be here November to March. Another bonus is food. I’m not
yet good at eating responsibly. Since I’m the treasurer I felt obligated to
join in the chili cook off (as an eater, not a cooker) so there’s a meal taken
care of. And I’ll be helping serve at the volunteer dinner which is put on at
the end of the season, a second meal taken care of. It’s a start!
This weekend was a gathering of our Yuma fellowship folks.
Last year David had the role of MC. He loved doing that type of thing and was
very good at it. He could ad lib, add some laughs and just over all manage. He
went all out in that he wore his tux for the Saturday night banquet. I posted a
picture of us and will try to post it again here. The weekend and the picture
made me both sad and happy. Many shared a word or two about David, his smile,
his wonderfully positive attitude. He even got mentioned from the podium, you
know he would have loved that. While I am devastated by his loss, it is a
shared loss with so many others. Reminds me of the saying, sorrow shared is halved
and joy shared is doubled. And this is the first time I’ve missed the
motorhome! It would have been so nice to have it out in the parking lot like we
did last year. I’d forgotten how convenient black top camping is!
It's hard to believe that it is just about 3 months in this
new world. Thank you to those who are showing me the way. Thank you to those
who are just listening to me. And just thank you.
