Christmas 40 years ago

 

Christmas 40 years ago. Would you look at that cute couple, he with facial hair and both with long hair and matching white pants. That was our first Christmas, 1980. Picture taken at his parents house, Bonita CA. Not the best picture taken of a picture but the original is 40 years old. Would we have wanted to know all that we were to face in the coming years? Probably not. I’m afraid I would have seen only the pain and troubles and overlooked all the joy and happiness. It’s not always easy to focus on the positive but that is definitely what I will be doing today. Today would have been David’s 73^rd birthday. The only thing I am going to do to mark this day is not open one of my daily gifts from my sister, Barb. If you have been following on FB you will see that she has once again sent me a Sunshine Basket with 7 individually wrapped presents to be opened one day at a time over the week. It is quite fun, just small, often silly gifts but a bright spot in the day. Our mother did this for friends over the years when they needed a little pick me up. Give it a try. It’s fun putting the gifts together and fun for the receiver too. I think there are even rules to follow but we’ve modified them to fit us. Barb didn’t know how fitting it was that the instructions she gave me this time was to open several, then pause, then resume opening. And that’s why I will not open today, on what would have been a day, all about David!

Oh and the other thing I’m doing in reference to this day, is post another blog. This blog is to focus on not what I’ve lost but what I was given over the almost 40 years of sharing my life with the Big D.

Such as: There was the year before we were full time RVing. I thought I’d better prepare my family to have Christmas without us as we traveled the USA in our RV. Afterall up until then I’d spent every single Christmas day with them and enjoyed the dinner my mother labored over for days only to devour in one sit down meal. Well, there were leftovers which I still miss on the days after Christmas. My parents, sister and brother-in-law were dining at a Mexican food restaurant we often frequented. I made the big announcement that this particular year we were flying to visit David’s older brother and his family in Florida for the holidays and take in Walt Disney World. My brother-in-law, knowing how much my sister loves all things Disney, immediately popped up and said we’ll go too. Soon my dad decided he and my mother would drive to meet us there. What! Not my plan at all. Everyone did go and we had a great time. I have pictures to prove it but they are not on this computer so can’t share. (Barb do you have a picture you can post in the comments?)

And of course 1980, the very first Christmas we had together. It started a few days before Christmas with an Anderson family gathering at Disneyland Anaheim CA. My first introduction to most of the family. One great group picture of Anderson’s at the entrance. The family has both grown and shrunk since then, anyone have a copy they can post under the comments?

Other the years we often returned to San Diego for Christmas with a few in other locations. My favorite was Las Vegas. I loved the outlandish decorations. Casinos really go all out. It would take days to get around to see them all. The best outdoor decorations were at the Ethel M Botanical cactus desert. Every cactus was heavily decorated in lights, even those already heavily covered in thorns. Of course, I had to ask how do you get all these lights up? And his answer – very carefully! Ha Ha

Another lavish decorating feat is on Cruise lines, wait that was a Halloween cruise I get abundance of decorations mixed up.

Lots of ordinary, routine type Christmases too. But looking back were they really ordinary and routine, no, every one was special because we were together. Oh, how easily I took them for granite, thinking that if something wasn’t perfect, I could try again next year. Not realizing that each one was perfect in every way. Grateful that I have had each one, warts and all?!

Thanks for letting me share today and some memories with you. Make moments matter, moments make up your memories. I’m grateful for all the perfect memories I have, even if time has added a few select alterations. Happy Holidays

My "safe family" for the holidays

 

sideways Christmas

During this time of social distancing, I’ve found a new "family". Quite by accident I found out my sister, Barb, had the complete set of CD’s for the tv series NYPD Blue. I’ve probably watched them all as they were on originally. Now, having the whole set and being able to watch several “shows” at once, I’ve adopted them as my new family. I figure it’s safe for them to come into my home! I won't get into trouble with the number of visitors or the hours they come and go. I’m enjoying seeing familiar faces and ones that, at the time, I didn’t know but have since seen them on other shows. They look so young in those early episodes.

Spoiler alert: Bobby Simone (Jimmy Smits) is killed off after 5 seasons. I’d forgotten this. He is ill and eventually succumbs to his illness. I went through about ½ box of tissues. But what was interesting to me, I felt like I was at the same time reliving my experience with David. Not in a bad way, like an observer. The unknown, the worry and fear, the waiting for yet another test to tell us/them what was wrong. Finding out it wasn’t “that” awful thing, only to find out it was something worse. The decisions needed; the doctor’s opinions varied by doctor specialty. The agony of the entire experience. It seemed fitting that I watched this almost a year to the day of David’s Transition. Allowed me to somewhat come to terms with the experience. It also brought home that this was not just my loss; as was shown my the whole department (unreal as it is) being effected by their loss.

It was all written and acted so well, felt very realistic. Later I read that it was actually based on the experience of one of the writers. “Hearts and Souls” episode was a critical and commercial success. It got high ratings and positive feedback and is thought of as one of the greatest in tv history. I agree. It’s been interesting – won’t go so far as to say educational! – and fun reading up on the background of filming, plots etc.

One last attachment I have to this series. The Twin Towers are in the weekly opening before the show starts. And in occasional shots in the episodes. Every time I see them, I think about the cruise with an overnight stop in New York. David and I went to ground zero. It was a very moving experience. We made a short tour, there was much more to see and experience but David’s energy was very limited. In fact, that was the last cruise we made and it was cut short. David lovingly claimed I was trying to do him in on that cruise. It turned out yet another of his stints developed an infection and turned sepsis. It really is a miracle that David managed to leave the cruise and fly home under his own steam. They had wanted to helo him off the ship but the weather was so bad, no helicopters would fly. The ship wasn’t able to port at Martha’s Vineyard, as planned, hence the overnight in New York after some random circles in the ocean. Another miracle that David rallied enough to do a night and then day tour of some New York sights. I think the next day found him back in sick bay. So when I see those Twin Towers standing tall before they fell, I have so many memories. Where I was when they were struck by terrorists; years later to be walking where they stood. I can’t imagine what it must bring up for so many others. Life is full of tragedy’s and sadness. I wouldn’t presume to know or understand how anyone else feels. I’m just sharing how I feel, it helps me and even better if it can help anyone else along the way.  

I’ll stop here so I can get back to more NYPD Blue shows. It was pretty groundbreaking. May not be your cup of tea but I am enjoying both the show and reliving moments it brings to mind. Hey, I needed to get away from puzzles! And since I won’t be gift wrapping any presents – or will I?

Enjoy